Fool With Money

Went to the Dolla Sto for a delicious and refreshing bottle of Noname Soda. I was in line with maybe 10 people behind me and when it was my turn I smiled and set the discount beverage on the counter. The cashier did not smile back. "$1.22" he mechanically recited. I slid my debit card as directed. NOT Approved! The line was noticably irritated. A collective groan was audible and everyone behind me began leaning forward with scowls and snarled lips. No problem, since I got paid yesterday, I had cash on me. I swiftly pulled my bundle of 20s from my pocket, slipped off the rubberband and my panoply of currency burst forth in a fluttering waterfall of bills! It was like a tickertape parade of green spewing out in every direction! Suddenly, everyone became so very helpful and concerned about my unfortunate predicament! I assured everyone that I had the situation in hand, and that I sincerely appreciated their friendly offers to assist! So I'm on all fours reaching around to sweep it all into a manageable pile and I gave the fellow a $5. for the drink. Then, I stuffed my errant duckets into my pockets as the looming crowd became irate. "I'm sorry, hehe, I'm done now! Thanks for being patient!" I stuttered, and waddled out the door, stopping to get one last 20 out from under one unhelpful young lady's foot. Needless to say, as soon as I was outside, I ran to my car and sped out if the lot, eyballing my rearview to make sure I wasn't followed. I was happy to be safely home, but realized I'd left my discount beverage on the counter! ‪#‎TalesFromTheGhetto‬