No Regrets

I'm standing in line at Family Dollar. A middle-aged woman stands behind me. She is using her outside voice. "Hey white boy" she says "Did you take my dog?" I do not move or blink. "Cause I seen you carryin' on with all yo Pitbulls!" I slowly turn my head and look at her angry face and smile "Are you speaking to me?" "Godamn right I am! My neighbor said you steal people's dogs. Ima call Dekalb Po-leeses on you if you got my dawg. He was from a champion fightin' dog, worth five hunnert dolla'. I know you got him!" "Ma'am I certainly don't have your prized canine, you have me confused with another Caucasian fellow." I mutter as the line inches forward. "Well Mrs Martin say she seen a white boy get him while I was in South Carolina!" she says, hand on hip. "Must have been another white boy. I don't even like dogs." I reply, trying to block her view of the 3 bags of dog food in my cart. "O.k. My old man was pissed off when he find out" she says, finally lowering her volume. "How unfortunate for you to have lost his fighting dog. I understand your consternation. He was rightfully perturbed." I said. "What?" she asks quizzically. "If I catch that muthafukkin white boy done stole 'im, Ima cut him up!" the woman grumbles, making a stabbing motion with her purchase, a pair of pink flip-flops. "Indeed" I assure her. Then, she throws her flip-flops and a package of discount panty hose on the nearby day-old bread table and steams out the door. Silence. Then, everyone in line chuckles as I toss my bags of dog food onto the checkout counter.
I smile and think to myself, "Yes lady, I took your dog. The little white baby PitBull I found emaciated and scrounging for food in busy traffic. You're damn right! I grabbed that little boy and drove him to a place far away. Where he got neutered and vaccinated. Where he was fed well and is loved ferociously! I have no regrets. I'd do it again. No, I didn't put signs up. But neither did you or your old man, who probably calls himself a breeder! Ha! Right. So every negligent dog owner gets his prized so-called "fighting dog" knocked-up and they all of a sudden realize... ."I'm a BREEDER! ". Lazy dog-fighting scum.
.Yeah, I took your dog!"